You Know You Are in Trouble at the Office When 
Ben Vitale

 

A friend of mine and her coworkers have for decades discussed in a facetious way, the logistics of how management expedites on its employees!  The name of a very popular game that management often plays is called “Workspace Polo!” LOL! The office or workspace that you enjoy could easily be taken away from you by some anonymous manager.

As departmental budgets continue to be cut, the chances of losing a major part of your work space increase exponentially! For many decades, my friend and her coworkers vocally fantasized in a humorous way, the possibility of management stealing their workspace! Here’s how the scenario was visualized! You are at work, and three stone faced men walk into your office or work area, and do not acknowledge the fact that you are there.  One person has a Clip Board and a Pen; the other two men have a Tape Measure, and they start taking measurements of your room.

One thing you can depend on is that company management does expedite on subordinates that they know little or nothing about. The trick is to initiate a “work space confiscation,” in such a way as to not be responsible for the outcome! Here is how this task is implemented! Management targets a 5000 square foot facility that they know little or nothing about! The target space is usually part of some subsidiary that is located on “another planet!” LOL! The occupants of the 5000 square foot facility are evicted and given a 1000 square feet room.  So...  What to do? Ok! The only answer is to throw out thousands of dollars’ worth of valuable parts and equipment into the trash can. The logistics of putting 5000 square feet of equipment and parts into a 1000 square foot room is usually pawned off to a part time, summer employee that is making $7.50 an hour with no benefits. After the summer is over the “part time summer employee” disappears from the payroll, and becomes the person who will be directly blamed for any repercussions of the workspace confiscation. LOL! “What did he throw out!” “Who told him to throw out our Fork Lift?” LOL! Who said that there was no such thing as the perfect crime! LOL!

Recently, management was looking for Real Estate that they could re-deploy. After many years of joking around about management stealing her workspace “it happened!” LOL! My friend was sitting at her desk one sunny Monday morning, drinking her coffee, when three people quietly walked into her work area and said absolutely nothing. The three people paid absolutely no attention to the fact that my friend was sitting at her desk; she was essentially demoted to the stature of a Pot Belly Stove, on a hot summer day. LOL!

My friend suddenly started to smile, and said to herself! “OMG!” It is actually happening!” “Yesss; It is really happening!” LOL! As tears started to roll from her eyes she just leaned back in his chair and started to laugh! “Yep,” They are really going to steal my workspace! LOL! And Yes… The stone faced administrative zombies just kept measuring her room! LOL!

So what is the outcome?  Thousands of dollars of parts, and equipment vaporize, and disappears in the compacting dumpster. Productivity of the original occupant of the 5000 Square foot workspace goes down by 80%, and someone from management gets a large pay raise for a job well done!  LOL!

Has anything like this ever happened to you?

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