Innocent looking Christmas Tree

Ben Vitale

This Innocent looking Christmas tree is not so innocent! This year our holiday season started out the way it should start, if we were in “Santaland.”  For the first time in over 50 years it was snowing when we bought our Christmas tree! “Oh how Christmassy!” LOL! What could be better than that? Snowing while buying a Christmas tree! Wow! My wife Marie and I were wallowing in the spirit of Christmas, as we were buying our Christmas tree! “It’s snowing!” “It’s snowing!”

When we decided which tree to buy, we called an attendant who would normally wrap the tree and tie it on top of my car! As soon as we told the attendant that we decided to buy one of his lovely 12 foot Christmas trees I suddenly saw an expression that radiated fear, on the attendant face! He said… “Oh … You are going to have to wait until the other men come back from lunch… I can’t deal with that tree by myself! I then told the attendant that I could help him! The attendant dropped the tree to the ground and we had to put the Christmas tree on a rolling cart! To my amazement both of us could not lift the tree onto the rolling cart… we had to slide it onto the cart! Hummm! In all of the years that I have been on this planet, I have never seen or dealt with a Christmas tree that was that heavy!

I asked the attendant why the tree was so heavy, and he told me that the tree was full of ice and snow! I guessed that the tree that we had just purchased weighed about 500 pounds! No wonder we couldn’t lift it! LOL!

After just a few minutes, the Christmas tree swat team came back to work, after their lunch break! The task at hand is to get my Christmas tree that was full of ice and snow, on top of my SUV! Thank God that I have roof racks! LOL!  The Christmas tree swat team rolled the tree over to my car! Three muscle bound young man were needed to get my Christmas tree on top of my SUV! As I watched I could see their arms trembling from the heavy load, but they finally got it on top of my car!

The next task at hand was for two senior citizens to duplicate the power and force of three young men! “Ya Kidding me!” LOL! Marie and I had to use engineering techniques to, lift our Christmas tree! Please look at photo number two and three… What is that strange rope hanging from the back of the tree? To put it into simple terms, we needed the mechanical advantage of a Block and Tackle, to get our Christmas Tree mounted in its stand!

I’m sure that my innocent looking Christmas tree, is laughing at us! LOL! If you look carefully at photo number one, you might be able to see the tree with a big sneaky smile! LOL! After the tree was mounted and decorated Marie and I, the two senior citizens, were also smiling back at our tree! LOL! We beat the show, ice, muscle, and brawn, using science and technology! LOL! Have a very merry Christmas! We will! We are still smiling at our Christmas tree, and our Christmas tree is smiling back bat us!  LOL 

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